Going Home

7 or 8 days in heavily sedated coma with tubes in my stomach and lungs that I pulled out (I didn't want the tubes anymore) including 9 more days in the intensive care ward, about 14 days on the next ward having times where they would do more nerve conduction studies, have physiotherapy and walk and try and be an alive human again and 4 weeks and 1 day in the rehab hospital up the mountain and attempting to walk by myself, talk better and use my right arm.

It's been a massive learning curve. I'm very not used to having regimented days, not be able to not use a part of me, learning to be great full for where and how I am when I'm not and still be upbeat and positive when I feel the complete opposite.

Being in a hospital is like being un human. You have to deal with white walls, floors that are the same throughout the whole place, breakfast, lunch and dinner given to you at a certain time, medication that they have decided you need and provided when you need to take it and learning to go to sleep at a really early time because of the night nurses starting. What I did look forward to was the therapy I got daily, if I didn't look forward to it I would be in my room waiting for something to happen.

I'm glad they keep me here for this long. Talking to the speech therapist the other day she told me that I said I would ski tomorrow. This was the first week I was here. Another reason that it's good being here for this long is the physiotherapy that I have received.

Being a physio myself I know how hard it can be with some patients. With Doris who was my physio, I was a saint and tried my hardest, maybe that's why I can do what I can. I would do and try anything that she wanted and I'm so glad I did. I had k-tape on my shoulder which was amazing and really helped with the nerve pain. Before I would use k-tape for patients but never believe in it, now I definitely do.

Unfortunately I have no shoulder abduction or elbow flexion on dry land but I did it in water! So it is there just very weak. There to make strong and fingers crossed it will only get stronger. I will continue with the things I've been shown and what I know and I won't stop till I am where I want to be with what I can do.

Last night was the first night I wasn't in hospital since the 1st January. I'm not used to acting like a human or being happy like I used to. It's going to take a very long for my arm to actually be an arm but I will give everything I have got to getting it working again. If what happened can't stop me then nothing will. I need to believe that things could be so different then it will make it bearable.