THE BEAUTY IN TRAGEDY
This is the first video I sent my group of friends. I had been out of the induced coma a few days but I still don't remember anything. This was the start of the beginning. The beginning of learning to be someone different and learning to get better. Learn to walk, speak, rely on other people and not use my right arm the way it should be used.
You can see here that the right side of my mouth doesnt work like the other side and my speach is quite bad. As well as the time I spent not speaking and moving my mouth, areas of my brain that were damaged and the epidural haematoma i recieved from the accident would affect this. I still don't know what areas of the brain I was meant to damage because everything from Innsbruck hospital is in German and I'm still waiting on new imaging in England.
Here, again, you can see that my right side of my face is still affected. This was a video to my sister that had returned back to England. You can also hear how medicated I must have been. I mention in this video that I enjoyed hallucinating. This must have been from the medation they had given me or trying to reduce post coma. I dont remember this video being taken all I remember is being in a dream which I suppost was a good thing.
This was another video to my sister to keep her up to date with my progress. My dad was also here from Australia. He was told what happened and flew from Austrilia as quick as he could. Not seeing me for 11 years didnt matter to him and I dont think it should when someone is in need. I was really glad he was there.
I was getting better. You can see that the imability to move my right side of my face is resolving and my speach was getting better. The tube coming over my trousers is a cathater for my urine. This was in me during my induced coma so my body could still urinate and still is because I needed 2 people to help me walk. I didnt like this and I dont like being in a hospital that I'm not working in. The inflated balloon that was on my bladder stopped me from pulling it out but it was taken out when I kept asking them.
It was also quite new for me to eat as I was tube fed then put on a pureed diet so this was a luxury.
My fingers started to move also which meant to me that some nerves were still intact.
I had been seen by the Physiotherapist in Innsbruck Hopital and been given a peddle machine which I could use on my bed to make my legs stronger. At this point I could walk with 1 person instead of 2 so things were getting better with my brain. I was still in Innsbruck hospital so this was January as I moved to the neurological rehabilitation centre in February.
My hair has started to grow as they had to shave part of my hair to sew my scalp wounds. Considering the accident I had I was lucky that the only wound that was visable was the wound at the top of my forehead which was also healing.
This is a video message to my sister back in the UK. You can see here that im still struggling to get words that I mean out and I'm beginning to feel the nerve pain in my fingers and thumb from my median and radial nerves.
Learning to walk again was so strange. Having people happy about being able to walk with one person when walking should come easy at my age was something that was hard to get used to. It doesnt take long for your body to loose muscle.
This was taken in a neurological rehabilitation centre in Austria beginning of February. I was able to get a bed here sooner than I would have due to the British Embassy finding about my injury. Here I was enjoying something I haven't had in a long time. I was able to use all of my facial muscles but I was still struggling to walk and continued to need the help of one person. I still couldn't use my right arm but here I was having daily physiotherapy, speach therapy and brain tests. I think I still didn't realise the extent of my injuries but trying to be positive was one of my goals that I ste myself.
The physiotherapist who I had daily sessions with for my arm in the rehabilitation centre made me feel gratefull. Greatfull for having her as my physiotherapist as it made me want to be a better physio, for being alive, to be able to walk and still have my mind. My arm flops down because when the anterior deltoid is meant to take over it doesnt because the nerve that inovates it is damaged/gone.
During one of my Physiotherapy sessions, she got my in the hydrotherapy pool to do some exercises and work out what muscles I could use. On dry land I had no right shoulder abduction or elbow flexion but as you can see I have the movements in water. The water takes away what force that gravity has on your limbs and restricts what your muscles can do with very little power against gravity. Adducting my arm is against the force of water but I have more power I can use in those muscles. Completing this session made me realise that I had some ability that I thought I was completly gone.
I think at this point I stopped filming video's that had any real relevance for this blog. I continued to send video's and voice messages to my friends and sister as it was easier than texting with my left hand. As the day's went on, I was getting more frustrated with being in hospital. When I asked the head therapist how long he thought I should stay in hospital, I wasn't given the responce I wanted. I was told it was my decision. I don't think it mat have been the best decion but I told them to plan my discharge as I was going back to where I was living in St Anton.
I counted down the days till my discharge. Every day felt like a week long but i didn't realise how I was going to feel in the appartment. Being home was what I wanted more than anything. St Anton is such a beautiful place but I wasn't able to experience the beauty at all. Being home highlighted even more what I couldn't do and hightened how disabled I felt. It got to the point where I thought it would have been better to stay in hospital. At least in hospital you aren't alone all day.
From when I started to feel like that more and more, I knew it was time to come back to the UK. I wanted to make sure that I would still have therapy, so I spent the days researching what physio I could see in England that had experience with what happened to my brachial plexus. I sent a few emails to different practices in Bournemouth but got quite standard responses from most of them, except one.
A physio from East Cliff practice in Bournemouth, emailed to me personally. She appeared to be interested in what it happened and the injury that I had. Gut instinct is what people should listen to, it gave me the feeling that I should book an appointment with her. So did. I booked an appointment for the week after I landed back in England. I didn't know I was going to come back to the UK. Maybe things would've been different.
I still haven't got consultant, images haven’t been done yet, everything is still in Austrian and I'm still taking and reducing the medication that I was given in Austria a month ago for the nerve pain. I know from my experiences and from being a physiotherapist, also the hardships that I've been through and the fast growing up that has needed to happen, I know that you are the only one that can really make things happen. Yes people can help you but it has to come from inside. You have to have the desire to be a better person. Yes, this unfortunate event happened and I'm a completely different person, physically, than are used to be but all the personal development, positivity and self-worth is still there. At the moment that's the only thing that keeps me going. You have to know more about your injury and what makes your recovery faster. You have to know what you have to do to be as strong as you can be so I have done a lot of research. From now on, I am going to do blog posts with what I am doing to speed up my recovery and try to be ME again.