Is it coincidence when we meet the right people?
This is something I have thought about alot since moving to London. Before I would have said it was coincidence these people appear at the right moment and help change the course of our lives but what I have experienced this year it just can't be. I wouldnt like to think about what my life would be like if I hadn't met them when I did.
My year started by being thrown into a situation that I was far from prepared for. Going from thinking I was about to embark on a new exciting 'better' chapter of my life after so much termoil in my early 20's, to being lost, lonely and extremly sad.
I have an amazing group of friends back home that helped me through those dark days when all you want to do is stay in bed, close your eyes and completly shut out the world. You dont want to speak to anyone. You cancel plans or just don't even show up and it gets to the point where you run out of food because you dont want to go outside and cant even see the point in showering. I will love these girls forever and we will be friends for life but at this point it wasnt enough for me, I was stuck and didnt know what to do.
Now I know that the relationship ending wasnt the only driving force to the reason I was feeling this way. I had put everything I had gone through to the back of my mind and burried it with a pretty good front that I had created, which seemed to be solid till I had to actually deal with 'life' then, at those times, my world would crumble around me.
Moving to London and another male in my life leaving and rejecting me (I know this wasnt the case but I couldnt help feeling like that) 2 weeks prior to the move, my job in London fell through. Now being recruited back into the NHS takes months. So I had to become a locum and work as a self employed Physiotherapist. I didnt know the first thing about how to do this. So I got on LinkedIn and messaged every single agent that I could find. Enter Alice.
Alice was a recruitment agent. From the start she made me feel I mattered. She made sure that I knew everything that I had to do to get a job quickly. I was able to contact her at any time of the day with all these questions and she never made me feel stupid. When I needed to find a place to live she even helped which I knew wasn't her job but she cared. She knew my situation and the place my mind was in but continued to reasure me and build me up. She made me realise that I was valuable, not only as a Physio but as a person.
So I had a job and an agent that was becoming more of a friend as more conversations were had. My first contract wasn't what I would have chosen but understood I had to start somewhere. I was more than greatfull that I even had a job but it was working in the community which meant spending lots of time on my own with my own thoughts. Enter Jen.
Jen is an occupational therapist who worked in the same team as me. She is full of positive energy that just radiated out of her. She could tell that I wasn't in a good place but every time I was with her I felt better. We started to talk about our past and situations we had both been though and realised we had very common ground. We would book our patients so we had lunch together which really became small counseling sessions.
It was good to talk about how I felt and try and make sense of this ‘white noise’ and negative thoughts that I had become my normal thought process. Jen made me feel that I mattered. That my feelings mattered and I was of value. This was the start of a new mindset and I will be forever grateful, for her positive energy, amazing outlook on life and her beautifully kind face.
I spent most weekends travelling back to Bournemouth to see my friends, sister and gran. Taking every opportunity to go out, drink way too much, feel terrible the next day and day after that, then travel back late Sunday night and start my week of badly, still slightly hangy, eating junk food, tired and low. Enter Emily.
We met through a mutual friend on a night out. We clicked straight away. She is this ball of positive energy that you feel just being near her, she honestly is like a battery! Our mutual love of good music, dancing and Ibiza started the conversations but these turned into discussions about personal development, amazing books she had been reading, how she had changed her mindset and was so positive about her outlook on life. She was so passionate about what she was discovering, it made me want to know more. I wanted to feel like Emily, that there was nothing in life that I couldn't achieve and was more to life than living for the weekend. I had done a very good job at pretending that I was this positive independent person most of my life but now I really wanted to feel it. She introduced me to a book called “stop saying you're fine”. This was the turning point. I had been doing that exact thing my whole life when I was far from fine. It was like the book was written for me.
Thank you Emily, for making me see that there is so much more to life and that only I have the ability to change the way I feel regardless of my past or situations I may face in the future but it's how I react to them that matters. I am no longer a victim.
So with my new found outlook on life from people I had met, books, blogs and podcasts, I decided I needed to be more sociable in London. So I joined Reach Fitness in Clapham. Enter Bex.
When I met Becky, it was like I had found my soul mate. We connected on every level. I still struggle to explain what it is about out friendship that makes it so special but I suppose sometimes feelings explain are more than words. When we talk about what we are going though we answer our own questions, its hard to explain but when I try and give Bex advice its like I'm giving myself the advice as I'm responding to something I have been thinking or worrying about. This girl is special. The kindest heart and warmest soul and I know that our journey together will be life changing. She brings out the positivity in me and makes me want to be better and I hope I do the same for her.
These people have had a significant impact on my life this year but every person I have met has had something to teach me no matter how long they have stayed. I now believe that the people we meet whom we connect with instantaneoulsy, enter to either show us that we are on the right path or help guide us to a better one, its not an accident. Since feeling more positive about my life and where I'm heading, more of these people have appeared and great opportunities have manifested.
So be positive. Emit the right energy and attitude and you will recieve it back. You never know where the next meeting might take you if you aproach it with an open mind and optimistic attitude. Learn and develop from those people who you feel great being around.